JAMES 1:19 – Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;

THEME OF THE DAY. THE BEST TYPE OF COUNSELOR. Every Christian is called to Biblical counseling. Yes, every Christian. There are over fifty “one another” commands in the Bible and those alone qualify us to pursue being effective and compassionate Biblical counselors. It would be a good course on Biblical counseling to do a study of all the one another commands found in the pages of God’s Word.

But there is something else we are to learn and apply as we seek to minister to people inside and outside the body of Christ when giving counsel or advice. This “something” is extremely important and will send a loud message of how much we are like the Lord Jesus to the people we converse with. It is found in today’s scripture.

The Apostle James places a priority when it comes to ministering to people. We are to be first listeners before being talkers; listen and understand before we talk and give advice. For some people, maybe a lot of people, this is a challenge. There are well-meaning Christians who want to reverse James’ instruction to read, “Be quick to speak, slow to listen.” I will confess that I have been one of those type of well-meaning Christians. However, I think I am growing in my understanding of being a Biblical counselor; that my listening is occurring more than my talking. But for all of us, no matter where we are on the developmental line of being a listener more than a talker, ponder the potential damage that may occur if we talk more than listen.

First, Christians who talk more than listen when seeking to help others are sending a message, “I understand you and this is how I can fix you.” Friends, if our listening is less than our talking, we really don’t understand the people we want to help. It takes time to untangle emotions, discern spiritual issues, and grasp where a hurting person is in their journey. To be quick to speak is to devalue the individual we are seeking to help. In our desire to give Biblical advice and counsel, one size doesn’t fit all. There are not “cookie cutter” solutions quickly applied in people’s lives. Yes, God’s truth is the advice and counsel we give which does apply to all, but if we don’t listen first, we won’t know what truth or how to apply His truth to the situation before us. So, go slow. Listen. Enter people’s situations before we try to help them in their situations.

Another dangerous thing which may occur from Christians who want to help other people but talk more than listen is the perception we don’t really care. One great liability exists in people who tend to talk a lot. They don’t think much before speaking. And when that occurs, impulsive words come forth that don’t fit the situation or are just plain unhelpful. We will painfully be exposed if this is us. We will hear from the people we are seeking to help words like, “You really didn’t listen to my situation, did you?” or “You don’t understand what I am saying.” Both statements scream loudly, “You don’t really care. All you want to do is hear yourself speak.” Don’t think this doesn’t happen. It does in marriages. It does in other relationships. In my pastoral counseling, I have heard, “You never listen. You never seek to understand. All you want to do is tell me what my problem is and how to fix it. If you loved me, you would listen.” Aren’t we glad our Lord Jesus is a listening Counselor? We would be of much greater value to Him in caring for His people and reaching the lost, if we learned that, sometimes, the best counselor is the silent counselor who enters the world of hurting people with listening ears.

PRAYER: “Father, help me give more time listening to people than advising people.”

QUOTE: “Some of the best advice we may give to people is not by words, but by listening with care”