ECCLESIASTES 7:21–22 – “Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others.”

THEME OF THE DAY: HANDLING CRITICISM AND CONFLICT.  No Christian awakes in the morning, gets all excited and immediately says, “I am going to instigate some type of conflict with someone, and I am going to be critical, judgmental, and speak ill of another Christian the first chance I get.”

I know that is over-the-top, unrealistic, and none of us would fall into this category of people.  However, all Christians face the real temptation (even inevitability) of some kind of relational conflict.  I mean we are sinners turned saints and that doesn’t mean perfect relationships.  We struggle and how we respond will be one of the strongest pieces of evidence revealing our spiritual condition.

What about the second part of my hypothetical morning wake-up scenario – being critical, judgmental, and speaking ill of another Christian?  Again, and I hope it is not any of us, but there is a strong temptation of this happening and especially when we have been hurt, betrayed, slandered, gossiped about, sinned against, or generally mistreated by others in words or actions.  We are naturally defensive when criticized and that itself is a problem. It is a form of pride.  Not to mention, we care way too much about what people think of us!

So, how do we protect ourselves from these two evils? Two helps.

First from today’s scripture, and the second from a quote by Charles Spurgeon.  To avoid the two sins mentioned in the opening paragraph, be careful not to do the very things being done to us.  King Solomon basically states, “Don’t take to heart all the things people say to you that are hurtful, negative, and stings deep inside.”  Then he would give the reason; we have committed the same evils from our tongues, and he tells us not a few times, but many.

Just ponder the times we have talked about another Christian, maybe a pastor or leader, and those words were not edifying.  Oh, they might not reach the level Solomon warns – cursing, yet, they are words we would not say to their faces.  How hypocritical is such an act!   We see someone who has been the object of our criticism to others, but we smile, ask how they are doing, and yet, just the opposite sense of care has happened outside of their presence!  Remember, there are no private conversations, and the Lord Jesus gives us this strong warning – “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak” (Matthew 12:36).

Another way to prevent having a critical and judgmental spirit and speech towards others comes from a wise quote from the Prince of Preachers, Charles Spurgeon, “If any man thinks ill of you, do not be angry with him; for you are worse than he thinks you to be.”  It’s humorous but true.  Let humility reign in all our relationships and have our thinking and speech under the control of Christ’s love and grace. Doing so will ensure we properly respond to criticism and conflict.

PRAYER: Father, help me to keep my eyes on Jesus so as to be able to handle criticism and conflict right.

REFLECTION: Be careful not to respond to criticism and conflict unbecoming the Lord Jesus.