Pleasing God, Making Disciples of Jesus Christ

Healing Fractured Relationships

GENESIS 26: 34-35: When Esau was forty years old, he took Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite to be his wife, and Basemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite, and they made life bitter for Isaac and Rebekah.”

THEME OF THE DAY – HEALING FRACTURED RELATIONSHIPS: It is not unrealistic to assume, in some fashion, we have family relationships that might be close to the tense relationship between Esau and his wives and Isaac and his. Maybe we wouldn’t say, “They are making life bitter for me”, but the  landscape is filled with strained family relationships that are difficult and not in harmony. Let’s face it. We are sinners all of us. Yes, redeemed sinners turned saints, but we still battle sin and of the type which causes fractured family relationships. And this is compounded when families contain saved and unsaved members. Yet, healing is possible. Restoration is possible. Reconciliation is possible. It centers on two things; humility and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Now before we proceed, I readily admit “possible” doesn’t mean “certainty” when it comes to healing fractured relationships. The Apostle Paul did say,“ If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all”(Romans 12:18). But the key is this . . . as individuals in fractured or strained family relationships, we are to do all we can to ensure the healing is not hindered by us. Swallow pride, even when wronged, and be the peacemaker looking to the Lord and do so regardless of the response of others in the relationships. Basically, let’s make sure we may stand before the Lord with a clear conscience knowing we did everything we could to heal fractured relationships .And we may do so by . . .

First, developing and exercising a heart and speech marked by humility. And what is humility? It is having the right assessment of oneself while seeking the good of others in the power of God’s grace. This means knowing we are sinful, prone to self-deception and self-defense, in need of constant grace and seeing people, even those who hurt us, as image-bearers of God. Should this define us, God has promised help for the helpless, power for the humble. The Apostle Peter points us to what God gives the humble of heart: “clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (1 Peter 5:5). Take the high road of humility in all relationships, especially fractured ones, and be an instrument in the hands of the Lord for healing, not continual tension and strife which are the fruits of pride.

The second thing necessary in the heart of one wanting to experience the healing of fractured family relationships is a Gospel-centered life. What does that mean? Well, it doesn’t mean we preach to one another in fractured family relationships. It does mean we don’t come over as a self-righteous prideful Pharisee; a person quick to find fault, offer correction and even rebuke the other person. There are places for correction and rebuke, but that comes from a humble, Gospel-changed and Gospel-centered person not an ugly self-righteous religionist. And here is what a Gospel-changed and Gospel-centered person looks like in action, attitude and speech: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23). The most important thing we bring into any relationship, healthy or not, is our Christ likeness. It is the sure foundation for healing fractured relationships and growing in healthy relationships. Nothing is of greater value.

Jesus tells us all things are possible with God and that extends to relationships which have “gone south and soured”. Submit to the Spirit’s work of humility and produce the character of Christ in us, and we will position ourselves to be agents of healing in the Hands of the God who heals.

PRAYER: “Father, help me to be Christ-like in all my relationships, remembering I am a representative of Your Son.’

QUOTE: “In dealing with fractured relationships, take the high road of humility and help heal the fracture.”