Pleasing God, Making Disciples of Jesus Christ

Take The High Road

EPHESIANS 4:1-3 – I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

THEME OF THE DAY. TAKE THE HIGH ROAD. Let’s face it. It is reality. As long as we are in this world, relational conflicts occur because sin still exists. And the sin that is always the root cause of relational conflict is pride. Within each of us is a “powder keg” of pride with a short fuse ready to be ignited and flame up into destructive conflict. But we don’t have to light it. The grace of God that saves is also the grace of God that empowers us to either prevent relational conflict or solve relational conflict. This grace comes in the form of today’s scripture – humility.

I was recently in a conversation with a fellow believer who is in relational conflict. All the elements are present and thriving. There is the posture of self-defense saying, “I don’t deserve this. I did nothing wrong.” Also the words of hurt and pain revealing a position of avoidance. The suffering has produced a reluctance to be near or engage the people in the conflict. This is quite common among us. No one likes conflict so we think just running away solves it. It is the “fear and flee” tactic. Sadly it happens in marriages and churches. How many people have left good, not perfect churches, over conflict and a bad testimony results of themselves and the church? Not to mention when people leave a church over unresolved conflict, it always leaves damage in the people who stayed. It is a true blemish on Jesus and the Gospel. Back to my counseling conversation. As I continued to listen, I heard another element of relational conflict – “Oh, it will pass. I’ll just ignore it.” No, friend, it won’t pass. It will go deeper in your heart and produce the poison of bitterness that ultimately will deaden your fellowship with the Lord Jesus.

So, my turn came in the conversation, I said, “You have to take the high road.” The individual looked puzzled and curious which is what I anticipated would open the door for my explanation. “The high road is the road of humility. It is putting the interests of others, even the ones you are in conflict with, above your own. It is the high road because few people will travel it. Their pride and ‘I am right’ attitude will prevent them from pursuing the only virtue that resolves relational conflict – humility.” I got the “look” like, “no way” but I offered encouragement – “Yes, way. It is called grace.”

Why is humility the only virtue that resolves relational conflict? Today’s scripture shows us. There is an order in what the Apostle Paul is telling us that ensures harmony and unity (no relational conflict). Humility leads to gentleness which leads to patience and produces love. These are the “triplets of virtues” of all healthy relationships, but it is humility that is the building block of the other three. To help us see this, let’s look at the opposite of humility and the fuel for all relational conflict and its fruit. We may re-write today’s scripture like this, “with all pride comes harshness, impatience, holding unloving grudges with one another, and an eagerness to fracture the unity of the Spirit in the bond of conflict.” Not very Christ-like, huh? That is the ugliness that comes from not taking the high road in resolving conflict. As for my friend? The conversation ended with a personal resolve to take the high road of humility, and it will indeed, make all the difference – just as the poet Robert Frost would write in his great poem, The Road Less Traveled, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.”

PRAYER: “Father, help me to see that the high road of humility is the way of all conflict resolutions.”

QUOTE: “Humility defuses relational conflict because it never digs its heels in saying, “My way or no way.”