Pleasing God, Making Disciples of Jesus Christ

For People Who Are Control Freaks

Psalm 31:15 – My times are in Your hand.

THEME OF THE DAY: FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE CONTROL FREAKS. I admit I am what might be called a “control freak.” As things unfold in my life, I want to control the unfolding to include circumstances, and at times, sadly, even people, to my desired outcome. When it comes to a person wanting to be in control, there is a lot to say. And what may be said isn’t good. People who want and attempt control have some very serious heart issues. Now before I list some of the painfully ugly traits in a person known as a “control freak”, I am really describing myself and what I have learned. Don’t take the list personally or think I have you in mind. However, if this comes close to the heart, don’t be offended. I want to help all of us First, controlling people are selfish people. They are driven by personal desires and outcomes. Oh, the outcome might be good like the recovery of a prodigal son or daughter, but don’t be deceived to think any attempt to control them is going to bring them spiritually back. We cannot control our own hearts, let alone another heart. Next, controlling people are weak in faith. They struggle with trusting God. Now all of us struggle in this area. Some more than others, and certainly controlling people more than others. When we attempt to control circumstances and people, we are trying to be sovereign. Behind this attempt is a huge battle of unbelief in God’s always good dealings with us. And remember, there is only One Sovereign Ruler in all of creation and life. He is the Person who sits on the throne of heaven not the person we say “hello” to each morning in a mirror. A third trait in a controlling person is they are bent toward legalism or being a Pharisee. They operate more out of a strict set of rules, expectations, and boundaries toward circumstances and conduct instead of resting in the mysterious ways of God who said, “My ways are not your ways” (Isaiah 55:8). This is subtle. A controlling person will talk much about trusting God, walking in the freedom of the Spirit, and being open to God’s movement. They will decry legalism and “Pharisee-like rules of do’s and don’ts.” Yet, watch and listen to them when their schedule is altered significantly; their relationships with other people aren’t working out to their desires, and circumstances they cannot control or change come into their lives. The spirit of legalism and the Pharisee within will rise up and express themselves as their rules, expectations, and boundaries were not kept. They may get angry, cry out “I don’t deserve this” and a host of other “Pharisee-like” actions and attitudes. So, for us control freaks, we have two options when God’s sovereignty collides with our desire and attempts to control circumstances and people. Here they are . . .

First, we may rebel and complain. This will result in a grieving and quenching of the Spirit. What will follow is chastisement for the sins of rebellion and complaining, and a “retake” in the Divine Subject of submission to the sovereignty of God. Should rebelling and complaining over a change in our plans, a redirection of our days, and even a rewriting of our schedule be our responses, we stop growth in grace. And if not addressed, we may grow as a Christian in longevity of years but not in depth of spirituality. There are a lot of Christians who are “old” in years of professing Christ, but “young” even spiritual babes in Christ because they never conquered a rebelling and complaining heart against the Divine exercise of sovereignty in their lives.

The other choice when confronted with God’s sovereign will overriding our will and desire to control is we may rejoice and submit. This will result in a pleasing of the Lord. What will follow is deeper joy in the Lord; closer fellowship with Him, and a noticeable growth in likeness to His character. Christians who are learning to react to God’s providential dealings in the spirits of worship and glad submission will see the “branches in their lives” increasingly full with the Fruit of the Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22).

I don’t think I will ever be totally free of my desire to control. I have resigned one of my “thorns in the flesh” is that I am a control freak. Maybe you are in my crowd. However, we must fight against this sinful tendency every day, and we can. This fight begins with the choice to surrender control and keep surrendering control of everything in life to the One who is truly in control. Such resolve will be met with Divine power to help us in this daily fight.

PRAYER: “Father, forgive me when I forget who really is the Sovereign Ruler in my life.”

QUOTE: “Rebel and complain. Rejoice and submit. The choice is ours as God works His will in our lives.”